Yesterday afternoon, buzz buzz goes the phone in the midst of my keeping up with those pesky Kardashians (in the words of Rachel, “Ohhhh, I can’t not look”).
[Mother of JJ’s classmate] ++Did you get information about the fifth grade graduation today, or are Carla and I the only ones who didn’t?!?!
How many messages have I received lately of this nature? Have I:
- heard if Spanish will be offered in middle school?
- get the form to voice interest in Spanish for middle school?
- know that the form that wasn’t sent out is due tomorrow?
- heard if soccer tryouts are today?
- heard that soccer costs $300, $600, $900, your firstborn grandchild?
- know if there’s an actual outline for the state report speech, or is my son kidding when he says they are supposed to “get up and talk about whatever”?
- been notified that the school implemented a “Shelter in Place” today?
- been told that “Shelter in Place” is another term for “Lockdown”?
My response has been so consistent, I’m surprised Messages hasn’t made it my auto-response: “Hmm, that would’ve been nice to know.”
When the kids were smaller, I would meticulously go through their take home buckets and folders, sorting art and information papers. The Important Papers drawer has a file folder for each kiddo. The Important Papers file folders were last updated, oh, probably before Kendall launched her modeling career (those workaholic Kardashians).
In response to my friend’s question, I actually had an answer.
+Yes! I know about this! And I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Why did I know it was in that particular Important Paper location? This weekend, when the kids were getting squirrely, and I had run out of fun or positive things to say, I turned to school. “Boo, do your homework; you too, Abe and JJ.” JJ: “I don’t have any!” “Well, do something school-y… like, empty your two-ton binder.”
Paper moved from two-ton binder to the to-be-recycled pile, which I skimmed through for kicks. Easy reading. A few “Hmm: that might’ve been nice to know, last week/month”s. When such papers are moved from the to-be-recycle pile to Recycle Bin, they have anywhere from 1-13 days to be used before going to that great bestest Important Papers Collection Pile in the sky, or on Wynooski Road.
+It’s some program they’ve been doing about not getting involved in gangs. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
++Oh, I got an email from the teacher that L is going to get something. I was just worried that I missed out on some graduation from grade school. So are you going to go?
Not wanting to blow my stellar record of not being on top of things:
+I didn’t get an email. I don’t think I’m going to go.
Turns out I didn’t miss anything. Her son was voted the G.R.E.A.T. kid of the grade, which means he gets an annual pass to Regal Cinemas. How those things go together – gang resistance and Hollywood cinematic features – I don’t know. Maybe if I search through the Important Papers bin in my spare time, I’ll figure it out. Or maybe I could take to Twitter to ask a Kardashian (those ever-tweeting Kardashians).