Giving Up on Proactive, and Even Active

Yesterday afternoon, buzz buzz goes the phone in the midst of my keeping up with those pesky Kardashians (in the words of Rachel, “Ohhhh, I can’t not look”).

[Mother of JJ’s classmate] ++Did you get information about the fifth grade graduation today, or are Carla and I the only ones who didn’t?!?!

How many messages have I received lately of this nature? Have I:

  • heard if Spanish will be offered in middle school?
  • get the form to voice interest in Spanish for middle school?
  • know that the form that wasn’t sent out is due tomorrow?
  • heard if soccer tryouts are today?
  • heard that soccer costs $300, $600, $900, your firstborn grandchild?
  • know if there’s an actual outline for the state report speech, or is my son kidding when he says they are supposed to “get up and talk about whatever”?
  • been notified that the school implemented a “Shelter in Place” today?
  • been told that “Shelter in Place” is another term for “Lockdown”?

My response has been so consistent, I’m surprised Messages hasn’t made it my auto-response: “Hmm, that would’ve been nice to know.”

When the kids were smaller, I would meticulously go through their take home buckets and folders, sorting art and information papers. The Important Papers drawer has a file folder for each kiddo. The Important Papers file folders were last updated, oh, probably before Kendall launched her modeling career (those workaholic Kardashians).

In response to my friend’s question, I actually had an answer.

+Yes! I know about this! And I don’t think it’s a big deal.

I sent her the details, which I retrieved from my most up-to-date Important Papers folder, located in the garage: the Recycling Bin.

Why did I know it was in that particular Important Paper location? This weekend, when the kids were getting squirrely, and I had run out of fun or positive things to say, I turned to school. “Boo, do your homework; you too, Abe and JJ.” JJ: “I don’t have any!” “Well, do something school-y… like, empty your two-ton binder.”

Paper moved from two-ton binder to the to-be-recycled pile, which I skimmed through for kicks. Easy reading. A few “Hmm: that might’ve been nice to know, last week/month”s. When such papers are moved from the to-be-recycle pile to Recycle Bin, they have anywhere from 1-13 days to be used before going to that great bestest Important Papers Collection Pile in the sky, or on Wynooski Road.

+It’s some program they’ve been doing about not getting involved in gangs. I don’t think it’s a big deal.

++Oh, I got an email from the teacher that L is going to get something. I was just worried that I missed out on some graduation from grade school. So are you going to go?

Not wanting to blow my stellar record of not being on top of things:

+I didn’t get an email. I don’t think I’m going to go.

Turns out I didn’t miss anything. Her son was voted the G.R.E.A.T. kid of the grade, which means he gets an annual pass to Regal Cinemas. How those things go together – gang resistance and Hollywood cinematic features – I don’t know. Maybe if I search through the Important Papers bin in my spare time, I’ll figure it out. Or maybe I could take to Twitter to ask a Kardashian  (those ever-tweeting Kardashians).


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