Dear Son J,

It’s been a while since I’ve done an update with you, eh?  Normally I would say that you were oblivious, but today I found you nosing around on Flickr, looking at pictures of your brother.  How you got there, I’ll never know.  But you did note that there were lots of pictures of your brother - that’s only because he sits still, Love.  And earlier today while I was watching a *car-ay-zee* video, with your brother on my lap because he had just woken up, you looked at me and said, “Is there room, Mama?  I think there’s room!  I think I see a spot!” and promptly scootched your tookus on my free knee to enjoy some quality viewing time.  Then, at lunch you fell apart when your father needed some Throne Time and took your brother to give me some peace (Abe doesn’t get much bathroom time because bathroom doors are to be closed.  At.all.times.  Lest someone start blessing the house with his fairy toilet brush wand, or opening that one non-child-proofed drawer, which blocks the door, and then mama and baby start wailing when the cries of “Please, baby, just shut the drawer and I can get you out!” are more interpreted as Open the Drawer Wider and Wail and Scream).   I told your dad that I think you’re feeling left out.  I can’t imagine why, since I’ve only mentioned stories about Abe pretty much since I started this missive.   :S

You are a darling boy, did you know that?  You have very definite likes and dislikes, and oftentimes your likes get overlooked and your dislikes are focused on.  So for your birthday, I decided it was Do Things JJ Likes Day in which I entertained your (mostly) every whim.

So we went to Freddies.  It was as though Fate deemed it Your Day as well, because lo and behold, right next to my parking space, was this contraption:

Which I have nevereverevereverever let you ride in:  once the door has been opened (like giving the federal government power), it’s near impossible to close.  “Mama!  I ride in the bus!  Please!  It’s my birfday . . .”  How can I say no to that, or these precious drivers - look out!

Miss Michelle, cashier over self-checkout extraordinaire, usually gives you stickers.  But today, ooooh today, you got your own Freddie’s Rewards Card, which you refer to as your Fred Card.  And stickers:  can I tell you how many stickers I have littering my car floor?  They’re so worth it, though:  have you ever seen better looking cheeks?  Freddie’s should be paying you money for advertising.

Then we went to the Dollar Tree because you wanted, you needed, your little heart’s cry was for one thing:  a balloon.  And so, you got one.

Then off to Chapters for milk with sf vanilla syrup and a green gummi worm.  But first, randomness in the ‘berg.  You know how you see weird things and think, “Gosh, I wish I had my camera sitting on my lap?”  Presto.

Again with the spoiling:  your classmate’s mom who works at Chapters lets you pick the color of gummi worm.  And points out where the Star Wars books are:  what more does a boy need?

Oh, that’s right:  friends!  To drink milk with!  And read Star Wars with!  And make guns out of the totally-not-gun-making-material building toys.  Sigh.

Where else does Judah like to go?  The toy store.  Yes, we have one in town.  Yes, we’ve been there on a regular basis.  And yes, we’ll be going back.

But the fun doesn’t stop there!  Off to the pet store!  To play with turtles and find Nemo and not look at the puppies that desperately wanted to be taken home (oh, it hurt me inside.  But I managed to stay strong:  my arms were too busy taking pictures and pushing around strollers and making sure people avoided stepping in turtle poop to reach my wallet).

It’s good to have a tribe to hang out with.

During lunch you got to take pictures.  Again with the doing things that you like that you don’t often get to do without hearing “Ack!  Put it down!  Slowly!  Gently!  No, it doesn’t bounce!”

Naptime:  not your favorite.  So you just bounced around playing with balloons and watching “Wachael Way!”

Until Dad came home and then, special treat, off to Wendy’s for Dinner with Dad!  Oh, the love of Wendy’s runs deep with this one (as with ones before him).

Special treat:  one of the specialist treats of all - SURPISE VISIT FROM UNCA MATT!  Almost every day JJ asks if he can see Unca Matt, and almost every day it’s, “No.”  I know I should try to phrase it in a more positive light (melancholy’s need all the postivitity they can get), but seriously, how many ways can you say, “Nuh uh.  Not today.  Maybe later.  He’s at work.  He’s at home.  He doesn’t live here.  He has to be a functioning adult and can’t spend all day running into walls and falling over with you, as much as he would love to.”  Only so many.

Unca Matt fed into the all-consuming frenzy that is Star Wars, introducing our very first Action Figures.  And JJ can already provide the music for them to “lightsaver” to (ah, the Death March.  It may be the death of me).

He also hooked up JJ with some more love - the love of Mario, the love of Wii, the love of baseball, and the love of gaming.

Quite an epic battle took place, one that details the outcome quite obviously (and typically, at least when it comes to physical games - coordination is not our strong suit).

When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday, you responded, “Um . . . a cake!  With candles.  And fire.  And balloons.”  “What type of cake?”  “Uh, purple?”  So I complied.

And it was enjoyed.

Darling boy, I can’t believe you’ve travelled around the sun four whole times!  Some days seem to go sooooo sloooooowly.  But then there’s those times that I blink, and all of a sudden you can read words like “apple” and “computer” (a coincidence?).  This past Sunday at church someone was talking about your child being “a blank slate, or rather a book for you to study”.  I realized that I’m an observer, and I love pouring over the lines of your life:  watching you run amuck with your tribe, seeing you squeal as you hit a Wii home run, catching you showing Abe what hand on Obi Wan best holds the “lightsaver”.  I don’t feel that I get to do it all that often, though, because while I’m an observer, you’re an interactor.  And right now one of your favorite people to interact with is me.  Sometimes I see that as an annoyance:  how can I observe when you’re talking to me and already asking if Dad’s coming home for lunch and it’s only 10:15?  Then there are those times that you won’t let me just observe, but you force me to interact in this life, to be present and active and doing.  You aren’t content just knowing about things;  you must be doing them, and you want to bring all your people along with you to do them as well.  I don’t always interact well, son, and for that I apologize.  Thank you for being persistent with me, for drawing me in (sometimes kicking and screaming) so I can live in the lines of your book.  You are my sunshine boy.

Love, Ma

JJ Jawings, Mama Musings