Allo, y’all. I didn’t think anyone read this here ol’ blog anymore until I stopped posting: questions starting popping up like, “WHERE ARE YOU?” and “HAVE YOU RETURNED TO THE LAND OF THE DIGESTING?” and “DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE? (LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAA)”

Thank you for the questions and comments. I have returned to the ‘dee having spent ten days at Chez Grand’rents in the valley. Events that took place:

• My intestinal tract relearned its proper function in my body.
• A certain Littlest Man decided he would not poop, not like solid foods, not sleep (well, less than usual, which isn’t much to begin with), and not like many people except for Mama - joy. So we learned to do the “please poop” dance, the art of quickly oh so quickly jabbing a spoon in the mouth, loving the crazies that come with sleep deprivation, and the “go to sleep” dance mastered by one Granddaddy.
• Yummy yummy food.
• An attempt at organized game play: oh, the travesty.

• Blissful viewings of the Next Iron Chef including his first battle, Paula Deen’s All Fried Thanksgiving, and Iron Chef: Holiday Battle Dessert in which the secret ingredient was sugar and Paula Deen - Lord Have Mercy.
• Hands to hold my babies, do my laundry, feed my belly, make coffee, and make sure I was supplied with caffeine free diet soda at all times, and talk to me with words other than “make me lunch right now!” and “i not like that” and “ENNNNHHHHHH” - aka heaven.

Unfortunately, heaven had to get back to the real world, so we shuttled back down home to life as normal. Which has consisted of a toddler who is “‘wake! not sleep! no sleep!” and an infant who has relearned to poop and also has an unhealthy attachment (aka any attachment - his older brother never cared - kinda freeing) to Mama. But the dog is happy to be home and resuming his cat stalking duties, and Orley was so excited to have me to sleep on that he couldn’t wait for me to get to bed last night following me into the bathroom while getting ready for bed, trying to climb on my lap while I was peeing. “Seriously, woman: ClimbIntoBed.”

Even though JJ will have missed two weeks of school by the time he returns, his learning hasn’t stopped. Oh no: we are an experiential learning kind of family. As shown by the following three scenes:

SCENE 1: Kitchen

Helping Mama make cookies.

Mama: JJ, open up the cupboard and hand me some chocolate chips.

JJ: [Pointing to salt which is a generic brand] - Mama, FredMeyerStore!

Mama: Very good, JJ.

JJ: [Pointing to chocolate chip bag]: FredMeyerStore!

Mama: Yes, JJ.

JJ: [Pointing to corn syrup, vegetable oil, plain shortening, butter-flavored shortening, etc.]: FredMeyerStore! FredMeyerStore! FredMeyerStore! FredMeyerStore! FredMeyerStore!

Mama: Yes, thank you, I am a cheap shopper. Rub it in some more.

Scene 2: Downstairs at Hubby’s computer

Mama: JJ, please back away: I’m trying to email.

JJ: [Handing me a receipt laying on Hubby's desk] Mama, paper!

Mama: Yes, thank you.

JJ: Home Depot! Dad went to Home Depot! I wanna go to Home Depot. [Insert boy making noises of drills and saws and other things I can't describe].

Mama: Ah, your dad’s family would be so proud. Now if only you can make noises of chemicals mixing together and exploding, then all the males on both sides would be tickled pink.

Scene 3: In the kitchen

JJ: [Laying on the counter, grabbing a cook book] Mama, what’s that say?

Mama: [Too lazy to look] What do you think it says?

JJ: Food. Network.

Mama: [Taking a look] Nice work! . . . . I think . . .

Daily Drivel, JJ Jawings