In school as a kid I remember learning about forces of nature during the weather unit – things like tornadoes and hurricanes and droughts and the dreaded El Nino (what was the deal with that, anyway?).  They forgot to mention one serious, sometimes-silent-but-deadly, natural phenomenon:  the Toddler.

• Last week I opened my underwear drawer:  I found a piece of string cheese sitting on top of Sunday (they make Sunday now as opposed to the days of When Harry Met Sally).

• Yesterday I found a Nintendo controller in the cheese drawer in the fridge.

• This afternoon he put a piece of paper in the tape player.  A long piece of newspaper.  And he tried to push play.

• A woman who had left a message on my phone the other day called me back before I had the chance to call her.  “Hello?”  “Yes, I noticed that I missed a call from you?”  “No, I hadn’t had a chance to call you ba . . . . oh.”  *Someone* had the chance to return my phone call.  And leave a nice babbling message.  So kind.

• I found a lip jive container in with the straws:  for all your oral fixation needs.

• After lunch I was downstairs, working on the computer.  I heard yowling.  And more yowling.  And more insistent yowling.  Someone had flipped his rocking chair over and wedged himself in between the slats.  Totally stuck.  Couldn’t go forwards or backwards.  Removal of the pants and diaper were the only saving grace between him and eternal time out.

Speaking of removal of clothing, is it like a developmental thing for toddlers to be wired to be nudists?   Because more often than not I find a pair of pants on the stairs and a shirt on the chair and one sock in my room and another sock in the dog’s food bowl and a nearly naked toddler running around jumping on the furniture or reading “Everyday Tofu.”

I know I’m not supposed to turn my back on the sea.  But it’s hard to always keep a toddler in view.  Especially one with stripping powers.

JJ Jawings, Mama Musings