You know it’s gonna be a good day when you get head-butted before 8:30am.

My child likes me. Or rather, my child likes to exert control over me. At least that’s what all the developmental experts would say — you know, those folks who never had any kids and yet seem to know exactly how you’re fostering a child who’s going to need lots of therapy sessions to get over their “My parents abandoned me: why won’t they leave me alone” complex. How do I know my child is in a controlling phase?

He refused to eat breakfast by himself but rather had to eat on my lap. With both bowls of food (one oatmeal, one yogurt). And all five sippy cups. And my hands *must* be interlaced and resting on his lap. If I forgot and moved them, he reminded me where they went.

• I must not allow the dog to touch him lest he catch dog cooties: it is my duty to keep JJ cootie-free.

• I should not work on the computer but rather watch some show about a sloth on PBS (GREAT tragedy that they’ve revamped their fall line-up: no more quaint lilting-Irish-accent fix at 8:30 as my beloved Jakers! is moved to 10:30 – sigh). The couch cushion will be patted repeatedly until I set my tookus on it. And *enjoy* it.

• When I attempted to take my phone away from him, he decided to call upon one of the resources he’s been endowed with: his large head. As I tried to hold the phone out of his reach, he head-butted me in the chest, attempting to either burrow in or knock me out or both. His head is not small. Three out of four geneological lines contain noggins of healthy to excessive sizes: he’s proud to continue in the tradition.

I couldn’t find the clip of So I Married An Axe Murderer that talks about the kid’s head:

Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy’s head.
Tony Giardino: Shhh!
Stuart Mackenzie: I’m not kidding, it’s like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you’re going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that’s a huge noggin. That’s a virtual planetoid. Has it’s own weather system. HEAD! MOVE!
Stuart Mackenzie: I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

So I’ll leave you with this clip, which if his Uncle Bubba has anything to do with it, JJ will hold the same sentiments.

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