• “Wake up!  You have to go to your friend’s house:  your mom is having a baby.” (Not that having a baby is bad.  But waking up and getting excited and going to your friend’s house and having to sleep in the same room as her infant sister and not being able to go back to sleep and being boredboredbored for a really long time and waking your friend up at what you thought was a decent hour and her in turn waking up her parents . . . at 5am . . . didn’t lend to the best of days).

• “Wake up!  We’re having an earthquake!” (I got up for five minutes, realized I was tired, and went back to bed.  The earth would quake if I was or wasn’t awake).

• “If you kids don’t quiet down, I’m sending you all home, and you can’t come back!”  (My friend’s father at our notorious parties at the Love Shack (her cabin next door to her house.  He needed his beauty rest.)

• The drum intro to “My Sharona.”  (That would be the alarm set to wake me up to study more because I’d been up for thirty hours and needed a nap before studying so that I could sum up the meaning of the American Revolution (i.e. regurgitate an entire semester’s worth of information) in four hours).

• “I’m just concerned about your safety.”  (This is what a cop told me after pulling me over at 3am because my roommate’s flight just got in and I had to drive to P-town in dense fog.  Yes, I was speeding.  And the week before I had gotten a ticket for going just that fast in broad daylight.  This time:  just a warning.  But still).

• “Is that them?  Again?”  (Upstairs neighbors in Boise.  I don’t feel the need to say anymore).

• “The Amazing GloMop will solve all your mopping needs!”  (An infomercial on while pacing with a yowly infant for the third time that night.  Oh, the pacing:  and there’s only so much pacing you can do in a little townhouse).

• “He’s crying.”  “I know.”  “It’s 3am.”  “I know.”  “He doesn’t get his pacifier anymore.”  “I know.”  “What do we do?”  “I don’t know.”

• [Insert wet hiccuping and then a juicy sound.] “Nonono!  The dog’s yarfing!”  [Insert feet hitting the floor, running downstairs, dog following and hiccuping and then yarfing again.  Insert sound of blinds being shoved out of the way, sliding glass door opening, dog hitting screen door, opening screen door, closing glass door, cat yowling to go outside, opening glass door, dog bolting inside, cat yowling, owner grabbing the still hiccuping/yarfing dog, dragging him across the floor, 'encouraging' the cat to go outside with her foot, trying to close the door with the blinds banging and the fountain-like dog trying to get inside.  Insert scrubbing sound, spraying of aerosol carpet cleaner, and then a fizzle as the mostly full bottle runs out of air.  Insert a very-awake Dren lying in bed wondering how cranky she'll be if she just calls it a night and gets up at 5am.  Oooh, that'd be cranky].

Happy Friday!

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