Outside, that is.

Before I had the Munchkin, I walked.  A lot.  It was my way of keeping the bebe weight controlled and a distraction from the fact that the Munchkin used a trapoline-conversion kit on my bladder.  Everyday I tried to walk about 10,000 steps:  I took the long way to the bathroom at work, I volunteered to go on mailruns, I visited folks in other offices.  It was great getting out and seeing the world.  I liked walking so much that I tried to convince Hubby that walking to the hospital was a good idea when I was in labor:  no, crazy hormonal woman did not get her way (I still think I could’ve made it).

After I had the Munch, the rains came.  And we were trapped inside our teeny . . . tiny . . . little . . . townhouse – just the two of us (and our friends on the Food Network).  Every once in a while, we had a hard day, a day when communication consisted of yowling . . . on both sides.  On those days, no matter what the weather was like, I would chuck JJ into a stroller and hit the streets – must walk.

He hated it.  Cried almost the whole time.  Howled to people that he had such a horrible, unjust mother as to take him out in the cruel elements (like, you know, on a breezy, sunny, 80 degree day).  How could I have a child who hated being outside and hated walking?

Uncle Bubba took JJ aside and told him that it was okay.  “Inside:  good; outside:  bad.”  But what are you supposed to do inside, I asked.  “That’s why there are videogames.”  “What about fun things like hiking and basketball?”  “They have videogames for that, too!”

However, the tide has turned.  Now MUST.BE.OUTSIDE.AT.ALL.TIMES!!!!  JJ knows how to undo the sliding glass door (locked) and screen door.  We’ve thought about putting a stick in to block the door, but a) he’ll figure out how to pull it out and 2) then it will be a weapon.  Once he gets the doors open, he calls the puppy by patting his leg repeatedly.  Sometimes he calls his parents that way as well.  And out the backdoor he goes to play with the dog’s toys or pieces of plywood or hose nossles.  Yes, he has toys outside.  No, he does not want to play with them.

The neighbors probably think his name is JJno or JJstop or JJhush or JJgetdown! or JJfortheloveofallthatisgoodandpureinthisworld!!!  It used to be a quiet little neighborhood until the toddler crower moved it with his early morning “DAH!!!!”

Currently JJ has been spinning in circles until he found an old dog bone (from the previous owners) that Jacks plays with.  Now he’s throwing it at the dog.  The dog ran into a cherry tree and knocked off a cherry.  JJ is trying to reattach the cherry to the tree.  It doesn’t work.  I think, “How precious” until he hits the tree for not accepting his help.  Oy.

So yes, if you’re looking for us, we’re outside.  Hurrah for deck furniture, a laptop,  and a wireless connection.

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