• Cat-puffing Dog

• Baboon-Butt and Green-Snotted Baby

• Cracked-Tooth and Head-Forked Mama

Note to the Hubby:

So this morning you flew off to the land of paradise . . . potato paradise, that is.  I thought it would be fine:  it’s just a day or two, what could happen?  Well, this morning when we didn’t get our paper, I think it’s because the paperperson could sense a bad karma descending upon our abode.

The neighbor’s dog stalked our house all day.  You know about this, having tried to save the cat from his first-ever exposure to the canine species – not a good thing, and you have the marks in your arm to prove it.  All day long, anytime the cat’s heard a noise, the cat starts to look like one of those puffer fish – all poofy, as though making his hair stand on end will make him looking intimidating, striking fear into all lower drooling and barking creatures.

Bring out the Rear Schmear – the Baboon Butt is back.  Yes, this evening I waited just an acidic second too long, and his poo burned its likeness into his patootie.  There was wailing, by both of us.  Following the Gran’s advice, we took a long bath:  well, he took a bath, and I read Cooks Illustrated and now know the ultimate pastry blender (we do not own it . . . yet).  The best part of the bath is when he dumped water on his head which made the green snot in his nose drip down his face onto his chin and into the water.  See, this morning when I got him up, his nose was completely crusted over:  tasty morning treats.  Yay for carrier monkeys in the church nursery sharing both the love of Christ and the joy of germs with each other.

While getting out some of the frustrations of the day, I decided to chomp on some Soy Nuts.  I have (or had) a tooth that had the first part of a root canal performed on it:  why isn’t it finished?  Because our glorious dental insurance only covers major stuff a year after applying for it – and then, it’s only partial coverage:  kinda like those cheap bandaids you’d get from the school nurse that would fall off with the first hand washing.  I’ve been wondering if the tooth would hold out for six more weeks since the filling stuff has been wearing down (who grinds their teeth at night?  Hmmm . . . ).  I guess I didn’t need to worry about the filling, but rather the tooth itself.  Cause a chunk just fell off tonight.  Yeah, a chunk.  Teeth aren’t supposed to fall apart like that!  So now I’m trying to line up child care in case the dentist can get me in tomorrow, cause you know that’s exactly how I wanted to spend my Friday.  JJ, in order to console me, took his Red Sox fork (which he used while eating quiche for dinner – microwaveable quiche, lest you think I’ve gotten domestic while you were gone – ha!) and stabbed me really hard in the temple.

I’m fairly certain I’m done with you being gone for now pleaseandthankyou.  I’d say JJ agrees:  he’s stabbing the wall with his fork and yelling.  Now if that doesn’t say “I miss my pappy,” I don’t know what does.

Daily Drivel, Mama Musings